I have come up with an idea for self-employment that will save me from having to get a job, and the idea came to me while job hunting, and the idea is this: I will start a job hunting website!
Here’s how it will work: I will take all of the job openings (most of which I’m not qualified for) that are being sent to me by email (because I’m registered on some job boards) and I’ll post them on my job website. If anyone wants to charge me for these job leads, I’ll offer them deferred payment. I will scour the internet for job listings, and build up my website. I’ll offer these leads for sale to other job websites, and if anyone takes them without paying, I’ll sue them (and offer my attorney deferred payment). I’ll also regularly post these job leads on Craigslist and other job hunting boards, but change the reply email to MY email so that when job hunters reply to the ads, I can then email them a link to my job hunting website. I’ll build up a huge mailing list.
Soon I’ll be able to hire someone to sell ads on my website and someone to scour the internet for more job postings. I’ll also hire a web design person to hide links all over the webpage that will take job hunters to my sponsors. Maybe put on a fake ad of something visually hideous, like something that looks like a tropical insect regurgitating its own organs, so that unsuspecting job hunters will click frantically to escape (and I’ll design the page to move around all herky-jerky, too, so it’s hard to aim your mouse clicks) and inadvertently be directed to my sponsors. Because that’s how I make my money and pay my employees—well, I’ll offer them deferred payment for a while, until I know they’re going to stick around. I’ll also consider using unpaid interns.
Finally, or maybe first, I’ll have to give my job website a catchy name in order to differentiate it from all the crap websites I’m stealing my job postings from (Bright, CareerBuilder, JobMonster, TechSolutions, LogisticsJobsite, SmarterPays, JobThunder, WorkNowAmerica, JobNauseum…) For mine, I’m thinking of something like CareerTrumpr, or JobPsycho, if one of those isn’t taken.
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